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Saturday 29 June 2019

My writing sample

One day I was walking down a hill and in front I saw enormous hill when I walked
down the hill I saw a small house and I went to knork on the door.when the person
open the door he was so small that I could not see him then he said look down so
I looked down and i saw him so he let me in.when I was inside I sat down on the
chair then  he gave me some food and we were playing when I was ready to go
for a walk back home when I Realise it was so dark I couldn't even see so he said
you can sleep over my house but my mum is going to be angry at me. So I was
sleeping when I Woke up and I had Breakfast then I ran back home.when I got
back my mum was so Worried about me so my mum gave me .

6 comments:

  1. Hello Zechariah. I liked the part of your story when you said you were in front of a hill. Next time maybe read it to check it makes sense.
    Keep up the good work. From Taimana.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Taimana thank you for commenting on my blog and next time i should read it and check if it make's sense.

      Delete
  2. Kia ora Zechariah i like it when you could not see him and he told you to look down on the ground and then that when you can see him.i like the part when your mum was so worried about you and she gave him one hug and a smack.you could of said i could not reach the door handle because you wore to big.

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  3. Hi Zechariah I like your writing. I like the way that you worked out
    your writing next time you could try to read it again.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kia ora Zechariah. I liked your writing it looked so nice how you talked about your "hill writing". Next time check your sentences to see if it makes sense. Keep up the good work, don't give up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi Zechariah I'm Alaska from Karoro school. I really liked your writing. I liked the way you used your imagination. Maybe next time you can add more detail like what did the man look like or was this in the past or the future. Thank you for sharing. Koia kei a koe. ( Well done ). Ka kite.

    ReplyDelete

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